youre lurking in front of me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
