I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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