You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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