how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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