That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I would fuck him just for his dog
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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