The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
