Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
