I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
