I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
