high people should be assigned attendants
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
