her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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