at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she peed on how many people?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
