The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
