Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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