if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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