How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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