i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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