so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
