I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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