wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize