I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
