I just cut my nipple shaving
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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