How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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