why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
