The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
