Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
