4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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