Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
