DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
