2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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