we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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