Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
