I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
