Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
