True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize