FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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