If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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