so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize