How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
