What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
