Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
