Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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