once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
