it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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