i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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