i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
