Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
