If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
