I want to make a zoo with you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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