Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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