Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
