I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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