Kiss
Puke
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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