Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
