Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
