Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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