The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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