I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
honey bunches of taint.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
