so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
