I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
